Welcome to Asinine Computing! We sell random niche appliances with random computer components just for the heck of it.
About us
To make a long story short, Asinine Computing started a long time ago in a garage far far away because the founders felt like it. And it just happened.
Products
THE Gaming Oven 256
The Gaming Oven 256 is a toaster oven that can play all kinds of video games! It's both a gaming powerhouse and a toaster oven, and uses its high wattage efficiently!
MSRP: $4000
Computation Heater 386
The Computation Heater 386 is a computer that is designed as a space heater! What? You say your computer does the same thing? Screw you! This works better.
MSRP: $4000
Gaming Washer & Dryer 512
Now you can play video games while waiting for your laundry to wash and dry! You think it's going to shortcircuit with all the water in there? Shut up. It works.
Coming soon!
FAQ
Your products are too impractical!
If you don't like them, shut up and don't buy them. If you do, shut up and buy them.
Why do you make all this nonsense?
Because we could.
Your products cost too much!
The parts cost too much! Plus, they're entertainment boxes. Deal with it.
Who would buy this?
I don't actually know!
Warranty Information
We will pay you for any CDs, floppy disks, or game cartridges our products melt if we haven’t shut down by then. The company will probably shut down as a result of these very impractical products so don’t count on it. Ask AMD and Nvidia to replace the CPU and GPU because we’ll probably be shut down by the time you buy this. You have the right to repair, after all.
Contact Us
If you have any questions or concerns or want to sue us, call our Customer Support hotline at:
Phone: 555-555-5555
Email: CustomerSupport@AsinineComputing.com
You know what? Just use this contact form. (Author's note: DOES NOT ACTUALY WORK.)