Welcome to our Page!
Hi! We're a bunch of cats! And we mean business.
In today's economy, the 'pet tax' can no longer just be about us being cute on social media and interrupting our humans' classroom streams. To help our humans maintain the lavish lifestyles we deserve, we've banded together to offer our services to humans who do not have cats of their own, but who may have temporary need of one.
Are you in need of a heating pad that won't bump up your electricity bill? A quiet reading companion? A singing partner? Do you have a tender side, and just need a little help showing it off? Do you happen to have a rodent problem? Would you like some help rolling dice in your Dungeons and Dragons game?
Act meow! Contact us today, and help us to help you to help us.
Services We Offer
- Heating Pad
- Snack-Testing
- Cleaning
- Hugs and Snuggles
- Manual Bookmarking
- Keyboarding Assistance
- Photobombing
- Dating Assistance
- Quiet Companionship
- Less Quiet Companionship
- Screaming Matches
- Karaoke
- Pest management
- Assistance playing games
Meet the Team
London
Age: 15
Spice Rating: 🌶️🔘🔘🔘🔘
- Arm Candy
- Heating Pad
- Water Quality Tester
Juneau
Age: 9
Spice Rating: 🌶️🔘🔘🔘🔘
- Livestreamer
- Crybaby
- Snuggle Buddy
Skylar
Age: 14
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🔘🔘🔘
- Actual Grandma
- Climber of Refrigerators
- Butter thief
Marble
Age: 3
Spice Rating: 🌶️🔘🔘🔘🔘
- Door Greeter
- Model
- Good Boy
Lucky
Age: 1
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🔘
- Chaos Gremlin
- Crimes
- Rough-housing
Osgood
Age: 12
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🔘🔘🔘
- Foodie
- Doorstop
- TV Buddy
Kairi
Age: 12
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🔘🔘🔘
- Avoidant Void
- Night Singer
- War Face
Baxter
Age: 12
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🔘
- Ladies' Man
- Socialite
- Handsome Lad
Rocket
Age: 17
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
- Sass
- Professional Nag
- Comes with Sharp Parts
Missy
Age: 13
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🔘🔘
- Alarm Clock
- Gourmand
- Will Tackle when Hungry
Sparta
Age: 13
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🔘🔘🔘
- Athletic
- Nice to Mice
- Momma's Boy
Maddie
Age: 13
Spice Rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🔘
- Potato
- Shy
- Purrfessional Hair Stylist
Testimonials
Before
One of our clients before using our services. Note the abject despair and loneliness in his eyes.
After
Our client after using our services, posed with Juneau the cat. Look at how happy they both are!
Frequently Asked Questions
How does this work?
You contact us using our form section to let us know your needs. If you already know which cat from our team will best help you, you may request them on the form. If you're not sure, we can help match you to the best cat!
Can I request more than one cat?
Absolutely! However, depending on the cats available at the time, that may not be a good idea. Some of them play nicer with each other than others! Let us know what you're looking for and we'll see what we can do.
Can I come visit the cats in their homes?
Unfortunately not. The cats would probably appreciate the love, but their humans are very skittish!
How long do the cleaning services take?
This depends on you. The cats are not actually there to clean your home, they are just grooming themselves. If you can clean your place before they get done grooming, then you can spend time with them. How's that for motivation?
Is this site fur real?
No. This is a joke site, made by a madwoman and enabled by her dungeons and dragons group. Absolutely none of the cats are willing to actually work for you. They don't even do that for their own humans. If only!