About Us:
The perfect resort for all of your needs and wants!
Founded in 1990 by Charlie Whitney, Web's Charlotte has been renowned as one of the best vacation destinations in the last century! There's something for everyone, and if not, we'll bring it to you!
We're well aware that squishy humans such as yourself and ourselves often search for relaxation and comfort when resting at a hotel resort. Here, we'll give you that, and more! Your blood will be racing with excitement, all while your muscles tenderize to achieve a state of pure bliss.
Our motto is "Stop being high strung; be strung by a new high!!"
We desperately need a new motto. What does this one even mean??
PNG SPIDER
Growing up, this itsy bitsy spider always wanted to be reach the tip of the water spout in his hometown. And yet, no matter how many times he tried, he was always flushed away by the harsh rain. This didn't stop him, however. Nothing, and no one, was able to discourage him fromhis goal to reach the top of that spout. After many years of endurance and stubborness, PNG finally made it to the top of the spout, gazing at the world below him.
To learn more, or to support PNG Spider, please attend one of our weekly PNG_Spider fan club meetings. They're open to all!
Except Trevor. He knows what he did.
You'll stick around for these Creature Features!!
- Asthetic hotel rooms
- A maze for the kids, with food
- Lots and lots of sweet honey
- Luscious greenery, so crisp to munch on
- Our specialized massage centre, now with our new "Suspension Relief"
- Attentive and eager staff ready to
eatplease you - Complimentary silk clothing!
- Home-made 100% safe sleep-assisting medication
Word from our collaborators:
Spider bake sale:
Food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!
Try our new Spider Donut!
All proceeds go to real spiders;
Reviews!
- ★★★★★ "I enjoyed the several human-like accommodations they had. I will bring my human family here next time."
- ★★★★★ "I recommend the kitchen! Perfect Sauna location!"
- ☆★★★★"It's very nice if you ignore the noises at night. In fact, you should ignore them! Makes the experience 10 times better!"
- ☆☆★★★ I thought they were going to eat my flesh at first, but it turns out they just wanted to help de-stress my broken arm! Now it's not broken! Yay!!!!!
- ★★★★★"They treat their guest so kindly. Almost like they're wrapping me in a warm hug."
- ☆★★★★ I
can'tnever want to leave!!!!! -
☆☆☆☆★ HELP HELP HELP THEYRE GONNA